Show You Not the Life It Seems Time and Tiem Again Another Lie Another Hook Lyrics
Love songs are where nosotros get our passion, our soul — and virtually of our worst ideas.
Null adept tin come of this. Photograph by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains accept been scaled, and not bad families accept blossomed — all because of a few uncomplicated chords and a tune that inflamed a centre and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other mitt, that time you told that daughter you just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love vocal. And information technology wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "effigy some stuff out."
"It's just, my mom. You know? And Fifty.A. is so hot in the summer. And yep, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That fourth dimension yous held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? You did that considering of a beloved vocal. And 50 hours of community service afterward, you're still not back together.
Dear songs are swell. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, existent-life homo relationships should work.
They're astonishing. So amazing. And also terrible.
Here are half-dozen love songs that audio romantic but aren't, and ane song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
1. "God But Knows," by The Beach Boys
You can proceed your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Go Arounds," and your "Assist me Rhondas."
When information technology comes to The Beach Boys, "God Simply Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A necktie-dye swirl of sound. A mural of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.
Hither'south why information technology sounds romantic:
I may not e'er love you
But long as there are stars in a higher place you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure near it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and non playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really cease and starting time over.
If you're lazily bumping a embankment ball over a volleyball cyberspace and "God But Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, y'all need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.
If yous're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and yous're non underscoring information technology with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," y'all are doing information technology wrong.
Hippies, likely on their way to a mud frolic. Photograph by Colin Davey/Getty Images.
It's a song that just feels like dear. Pure dearest. Immature love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could exist wrong with that?
Here'due south why it'south actually really, really unromantic:
At that place's nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they autumn asleep while you whisper the consummate works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the dorsum porch of his firm, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
Just there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much.
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living practice me?
Look, I get information technology. Breakups suck. At that place'southward no getting around that. Simply expert God.
There's a huge divergence between saying: "Hey babe, you are my outset and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you lot go." And saying: "Welp, you accustomed that job in Seattle, and then I'grand just gonna chug a agglomeration of nightshade and call information technology a life."
Simply that's pretty much the gist hither. Which makes this line...
God only knows what I'd be without you
...horror-movie creepy. Because the reply, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. Nosotros had a good run. Photograph via iStock.
That's not love. That'due south codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Information technology's a course of emotional corruption.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — one that, past definition, might one twenty-four hours terminate — is putting a lot of eggs in ane basket. Sure, God may but know what you lot'd be without her, but God probably likewise hopes you accept, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Yep! Hell yeah! What was her name again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.
One person cannot be anyone'south be-all and end-all. Information technology's too stressful. And it prevents yous from doing you lot, which is a thing that's gotta be washed earlier yous tin can do anything else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
2. "Treasure," past Bruno Mars
Sure, information technology's a breathy rip off of every Michael Jackson vocal you've ever heard. But, nosotros don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Look at that face up. That confront! Photo by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Hither'southward why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come truthful
If you lot let me treasure yous
If you allow me treasure you lot
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant price pass on the highway to natural language-town (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they will recall you're weird — just probably still make out with you lot.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America considering of this song.
This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and you lot're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photograph by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'chiliad OK with that.
Merely, hither'due south why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as information technology seems:
Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes about gender.
"Children, accept I e'er told you what I shouted at your female parent on the street the starting time time we met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things start to go south correct from the very beginning:
Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby
I gotta tell you lot a picayune something about yourself
Ah yes. Goose egg screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it exist? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could information technology be that her nonfiction book nearly early modernistic German history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thank you for teaching me all about Martin Luther's bible!" Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.
Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, y'all're a sexy lady
Only you walk effectually here similar you wanna be someone else
Oh. Information technology's that she'due south sexy. Absurd, bro. Very original.
Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-solar day and then much that you, a consummate stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).
Then what if she does desire to exist someone else? I'd honey to be someone else! I think existence Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A adept way to spend a 3-day weekend.
Sure, at that place'd be an adjustment period... Photo past Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images.
And then later, of class, the narrator can't assist himself:
Pretty girl, pretty daughter, pretty daughter, you should exist grinning
A girl like you should never wait and so bluish.
He respects her so much, he's really straight-up telling her to grinning! Much similar Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody's got a thing.
Yeah, in the world of "Treasure," a good for you relationship is an unending stream of a human being complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex activity."
He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world'south creepiest pirate:
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, yous, you, y'all are
You lot are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, yous, you, y'all, you are
By this point, in his mind, she's a literal affair. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose it could exist worse, though. At least she'southward not but any thing.
GIF from "The Two Towers."
That'south ... something, right?
3. "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," by Bob Dylan
For as long equally humans have been dating each other, humans take been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is adept at writing songs that a lot of people similar. Photograph past William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Fifty-fifty you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, baby
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the pause of dawn
Expect out your window, and I'll exist gone
You're the reason I'one thousand a-traveling on
But don't think twice, information technology'south all right.
Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.
"Don't Remember Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It'due south the song your older sister played on continuous loop for vi months afterwards her young man left for higher. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her iv Australian shepherds into the van, and open up a current of air chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend'southward cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse ring over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are you looking for?" Photo by Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, information technology'southward near the end of a relationship, just it sounds romantic. And at the terminate of the twenty-four hour period, shouldn't that be enough?
Here's why it'due south actually sooooo messed upwardly:
Relationships cease. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right manner to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion well-nigh what went incorrect.
It'southward not me, Joan. Information technology'south you. 100% you. Photograph by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Call back Twice," that word basically boils down to: "It'southward your error."
Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Call up Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? Yous're all like, "Babe, I just accept so much unspecified love to give," and she'due south like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she'south similar, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and fabricated both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to practice is have out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna go play guitar." And then she gets all mad! What did y'all do? Why is she trying to alter yous? UGH!
You could have done better, but I don't listen
Yeah. You do mind! Yous listen! Y'all wrote a song near information technology, you passive-ambitious prick.
Y'all just kinda wasted my precious fourth dimension
Ah aye. Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours yous wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when yous could take been futzing effectually with that domicile-mash kit.
Aye, this was worth it. Photo past Beak Bradford/Flickr.
The minute you kickoff breaking it downwards, the message of "Don't Think Twice" of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sis'due south ex-swain, who worked at the Bass Pro Store in town for a while and now might be in jail. Similar your aunt'southward wind chinkle store, which would accept closed forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's absurd dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"You kids want a beer? No one'south under xiii, right?" Photo via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song'southward narrator also indicate-bare refers woman he's leaving as:
A kid, I'k told
That'due south right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive wiggle — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.
Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not really a child — which there's no indication it is, just OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects style more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may exist the point.
4. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?
This guy. Photo by Hughes Goggle box Network/Wikimedia Eatables.
Here'southward why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Aeroplane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," merely in a way that'south somehow notwithstanding folksy and heartbreaking and singable past 9-year-olds at summer camp. Non easy to exercise!
Oh babe, I hate to go
Y'all encounter — he hates to get! He simply hates it! We know this, considering he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't beloved his partner just that much?
Run into ya! Photo past Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here's why it'due south actually not that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract and so much from the fact that the song's chief grapheme is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem similar he hates being away all that much:
There's so many times I've permit you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while y'all were abode nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex activity I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Similar, I had a fantastic fourth dimension. But rest bodacious — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"As empty as this bed I just finished having sex with someone else in." Photograph via iStock.
Yes, when yous break information technology down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he'south "good" despite all evidence to the reverse.
And for all he claims to be cleaved upward almost having to part from his one and but, the dude seems pretty excited almost the flight. Oh, yous're leaving on a jet plane, are y'all? Are you Zone one? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad y'all were forced to choke down as you sabbatum waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious adventure?
"Life and then difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photograph past Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry identify I go, I'll retrieve of y'all
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you
Ah cool. He'll think almost her while strumming and making "my dearest is delicate as the forenoon dew" optics at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.
Then he demands:
Then osculation me and grin for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Later all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't exist trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To expect for him?
And hither's the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your nuptials band
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he'southward cheated a billion times, drained the family banking company account, and just been a general screwup and thwarting.
Just yes. This time he says he'll bring back a hymeneals ring.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.
5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When you look upward "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo by Gene Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, information technology plays you the very first line.
Here'south why information technology sound very romantic:
When a human being loves a woman
Sure, y'all tin can write the lyrics downwardly, but information technology doesn't fifty-fifty come up shut to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious pain-belting:
WHEN A Human LOVES A WOMAN
Closer ... but still no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!
It's an elemental lyric.
It's a center-shattering lyric.
It's a lyric that demands you put your dorsum into it.
It's perfection.
As long every bit you don't continue listening.
Here's why the vocal is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Adult female," nosotros know that, at to the lowest degree on occasion, a human loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said adult female?
He'd surrender all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A homo, no thing how devoted, no matter how selfless, no affair how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a human being volition dice of exposure and hypothermia.
Turn his back on his best friend if he put her downwardly.
No! Jeez. No. A man tin't put up with that kind of isolating beliefs. A man needs friends! Once a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will exist bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a human's mental health will deteriorate.
I gave you everything I have
Tryin' to concur on to your heartless beloved
Babe, delight don't treat me bad.
This is not what happens "when a homo loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative adult female. An calumniating woman. A adult female who, in truth, just loves a woman. Herself.
"It'southward Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.
And that's not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! Nosotros're hither for you.
(Side note: Lest it go implied, at that place is way more than than one way for a man to beloved a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Possibly they sleep in separate bedrooms. Perchance they dress up in big, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a human being loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no one-size-fits-all dearest solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the female parent of invention. There'due south more than i way to skin a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine get downwards.
It doesn't affair if it's the right metaphor, as long as information technology's a metaphor. Photo past Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Bespeak being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if you e'er find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a telephone call.
6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," Heart
Honestly, Center could sing a list of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bawl my eyes out in the arms of a tall, nighttime stranger at the end of a pier.
This song is perfect. You should always be listening to information technology. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google information technology. It's just that important.
I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
So much passion. So much pain. Then much hair.
Here'south why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring tune, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one truthful romantic fantasy shared past every living existence on Earth: picking upwardly an unnervingly attractive human for one night of listen-bravado sex and so releasing him back into the wild to os — but never quite every bit compellingly always again.
They sing:
It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing past the road, no umbrella, no coat
And so I pulled upward alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a grin and then nosotros drove for a while
I don't have to proceed because you lot know what happens adjacent, and information technology'southward awesome.
"I just sit in this motel. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
Now, hither's why this song is not romantic at all:
The relationship in "All I Wanna Practise" seems too expert to be true. And it is. Because it'southward not an as loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.
It's a...
It'due south a...
Well. You know what it is:
Skilful at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are humming along but fine, similar whatsoever wholesome, illicit, anonymous thing should:
I didn't inquire him his name, this lonely boy in the pelting
Fate, tell me it's right, is this honey at first sight?
Sure, many of united states might hesitate to selection up a strange leather-jacket-clad human being standing on the side of the route for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling nigh this guy, and sometimes, yous gotta go with your gut.
I tin can respect that.
We made magic that nighttime
He did everything right
Great! Seems like it was a practiced conclusion. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off large fourth dimension.
Simply then, without warning, the song starts to sound less similar an all-fourth dimension bang-up romance and more than like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape effectually a campfire:
I told him "I am the flower, y'all are the seed
We walked in the garden, nosotros planted a tree
Don't endeavor to observe me, delight don't y'all dare
Just live in my memory, yous'll always exist there"
I'm not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of homo reproduction than they have since sex was beginning invented in the early on-1970s, we're talking virtually a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
Howdy! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Eatables.
Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. Y'all might exist tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:
Then information technology happened one day
Nosotros came circular the same way
You tin imagine his surprise
When he saw his own optics
There are two possibilities here.
One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping upward a baby on the sly.
I said, "Delight, please understand
Ah, certain. Aye. No worries.
I'one thousand in dearest with another man
Cool, then this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked non 1 but 2 lives.
And what he couldn't requite me, oh, no
Was the i little thing that you lot can"
A HUMAN LIFE! A Existent SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The all-time yous can say nigh that is that information technology'south not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket human being probably should take been responsible for his ain nascence control. Or, at the very to the lowest degree, asked more questions .
Only ... it's non beautiful. It'southward non romantic (fifty-fifty the Wilson sisters themselves agree).
And at the end of the twenty-four hours, the shadiest graphic symbol in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the nighttime.
Which... is saying something.
But there is a honey song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a body of water of problematic faves.
A vocal that does everything right.
A song that paints a portrait of a salubrious partnership built to last.
A song that tin double as a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship.
And that song is...
"Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia
Here's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
50 Cent (L) and that guy. You lot know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
Equally catchy as "Candy Store" is, as fun it is to dance to, and equally cathartic as information technology can be to scream in the eye of a crowded fraternity business firm at 2 a.m., there'due south no getting around the fact that the song begins similar this:
I'll take you to the processed shop
I'll let you lot lick the lollipop
I'll post that again, in case yous missed some of the dash:
I'll take y'all to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Way to take i for the squad, narrator of "Candy Shop"!
At first glance, "Processed Shop" is nobody'due south idea of a archetype love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't get played much anymore. When information technology does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Burn" on your new Xbox 360.
It'southward not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. Information technology's not a song yous'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It'due south certainly not a song yous'd include on the video photograph montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.
It'due south simply not.
But it should be.
So here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:
Y'all wanna dorsum that affair up or should I push up on information technology? Photo by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. Information technology'south only been 20 seconds, and y'all're already getting ready to hang it upwardly with "Candy Shop."
Merely and so ... over the foursquare thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female vocalism joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion phone call.
She sings:
I'll take you to the processed shop (yeah)
Boy, i taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have y'all spendin' all yous got (come on)
Go along going 'til yous hit the spot, whoa
Information technology's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex activity on each other!
Band the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Become, cunnilingus doves, go! Photo by liz due west/Flickr.
50 Cent himself may not exist the world's greatest partner — for instance, co-ordinate to one of his exes, he'southward done some pretty unforgivable things.
But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:
You could accept it your way, how exercise you desire it?
Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'g going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'one thousand going to care for you similar a chest full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Practise is Make Beloved to You," ("I'thousand going to flim-flam you into knocking me upwardly!") — the "Processed Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to practise it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The embankment? The park?
Information technology's whatsoever you lot're into
'Crusade consent is sexy!
I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly ... believing nigh his desires.
Just hither'due south the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into information technology. And we know this because she says so.
The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are vivid ruddy, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky order floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is exterior trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what we do ...
And where we do ...
The things nosotros do ...
Are just betwixt me and you
No matter how nasty they freak, information technology will exist intimate. It volition be individual. There will exist no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you exist a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of whatsoever relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very maybe in the instance of "Candy Shop") minutes long.
She may take a high sex drive, merely dude is graciously offer to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.
And at the terminate of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thanks, Obamacare! Photo past Wonderlane/Flickr.
It'southward like it's a race who could get undressed quicker
Over again, everybody is having a swell time. And, critically, an equally great time.
I affect the right spot at the right time
Of course, it wouldn't be a popular/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, only if nosotros're to have him at his discussion, "Processed Shop" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Practise is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he'southward not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering beloved god. He's a good partner.
"Processed Shop" is raunchy. It's dirty. It's not your grandmother'southward love song.
Only when you strip away the swagger, the back vanquish, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Centre Eastern Music 1993," past the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy human relationship is all almost?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
And so seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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