Criticism Focuses on the Political Implications of a Work of Art

Editor's Note: This article is part of "x Ways To Exist A Better Employee In 2015." Read the total list here.

No affair what we exercise or how well we do it, some criticism is somewhen going to come our way.

And those moments are oftentimes some of the toughest nosotros all face in work and life. Hearing potentially negative things near yourself is probably not your favorite action, and most of united states of america would rather avert the awkwardness that comes with telling someone else how they could improve.

Merely what practice we lose out on when we avoid these tough conversations? 1 of the central skills of life is being able to give and receive advice, feedback and even criticism.

If given and received in the right spirit, could sharing feedback–even critical feedback–become a unlike, better feel than the painful ane nosotros're accustomed to? Could feedback become a valued opportunity and even a bonding, positive experience?

In this post, nosotros'll explore how to requite and receive feedback at work in the all-time ways possible, forth with some of the psychology behind handling critical feedback (in both directions). I'll also share with y'all some of the methods in which we offer and receive feedback at Buffer to try and make the experience less scary and more loving.

What happens in our brains when we receive criticism

It'south hard for us to experience like we're wrong, and it'due south even harder for us to hear that from others. Every bit it turns out, there's a psychological footing for both of these elements.

Our brains view criticism as a threat to our survival

Because our brains are protective of us, neuroscientists say they get out of their way to make certain we always experience like we're in the correct–even when nosotros're not.

And when we receive criticism, our brain tries to protect us from the threat it perceives to our place in the social guild of things.

"Threats to our standing in the optics of others are remarkably strong biologically, almost as those to our very survival," says psychologist Daniel Goleman.

So when we look at Maslow'southward famous hierarchy of needs, we might suppose that criticism is pretty high up on the pyramid–peradventure in the self-esteem or cocky-actualization quadrants. But because our brains see criticism as such a primal threat, it'southward really much lower on the pyramid, in the belonging or rubber spectrums.

Criticism tin feel similar an actual threat to our survival—no wonder information technology's so tough for u.s. to hear and offer.

We call up criticism strongly but inaccurately

Another unique thing about criticism is that we often don't remember information technology quite clearly.

Charles Jacobs, author of Management Rewired: Why Feedback Doesn't Work, says that when we hear information that conflicts with our cocky-epitome, our instinct is to outset alter the data, rather than ourselves.

Kathryn Schulz, the author of Being Wrong, explains that that's because "we don't experience, remember, track, or retain mistakes as a feature of our inner mural," and then wrongness "ever seems to come at united states of america from left field."

But although criticism is more than probable to exist recollect incorrectly, nosotros don't oftentimes forget it.

Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University, says "virtually everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more item."

It's chosen a negativity bias. Our brains take evolved separate, more sensitive brain circuits to handle negative data and events, and they process the bad stuff more thoroughly than positive things. That means receiving criticism volition always have a greater impact than receiving praise.

How to offer criticism the best manner possible

And then at present that we know what a frail enterprise criticism can exist, how tin can we go well-nigh offering it up in the right spirit to get the best results? Here are some tips and strategies.

Reflect on your purpose

The most of import stride is to make sure that your potential feedback is coming from the correct place. Here's a list of some of the principal motivating factors backside offering upwardly feedback.

"When we have difficult feedback to requite, nosotros enter the discussion uneasily, and this pushes us to the side of fright and judgment, where we believe we know what is wrong with the other person and how nosotros can fix him," writes Frederic Laloux in his book Reinventing Organizations. "If we are mindful, we can come to such discussions from a place of care. When we practise, we can enter into beautiful moments of inquiry, where we accept no piece of cake answers but tin help the colleague assess himself more truthfully."

Focus on the behavior, not the person

Later entering the conversation with the best intentions, a next guideline is to separate behavior or deportment from the person you're speaking to.

Focusing the criticism on only the situation you want to address–on what someone does or says, rather than the individual themselves–separates the problematic situation from the person'due south identity, assuasive them to focus on what y'all're saying without feeling personally confronted.

Lead with questions

Starting off your feedback with a few questions tin can help the other person experience like an equal role in the conversation every bit you lot discuss the claiming together.

Neal Ashkanasy, a professor of management at the University of Queensland in Australia, shared with Psychology Today the story of overcoming a tough feedback claiming–firing an assistant–with questions:

Ashkanasy began by asking her how she thought she was doing. That lead-in gives the recipient "joint ownership" of the conversation, he says. Ashkanasy likewise pointed to other jobs that would better lucifer the skills of his soonhoped-for-ex employee. That hope of belonging helped salvage her anxiety about being cast out of the group she already knew.

Inject positivity: The modified 'criticism sandwich'

"Sandwich every fleck of criticism between 2 heavy layers of praise." – Mary Kay Ash

One well known strategy for feedback is the "criticism sandwich," popularized by the higher up quote from cosmetics maven Mary Kay Ash. In the sandwich, y'all begin with praise, accost the problem, and follow up with more praise.

In fact, the more of the conversation you can frame positively, the more than likely your recipient is to exist in the right frame of mind to make the alter you're looking for.

The web log Zen Habits offers up some phrases to try to inject more positivity into your feedback, like: "I'd dearest information technology if …" or "I think y'all'd practise a great task with …" or "One matter that could make this even better is …"

Follow the Rosenberg method: Observations, feelings, needs, requests

In his exploration of the next phase of working together, Reinventing Organizations, Frederic Laloux explores some of the earth'southward about highly evolved workplaces. One of the cultural elements common to all of them is the the power to care for feedback as a gift rather than a curse.

Every bit Laloux puts it, "feedback and respectful confrontation are gifts nosotros share to help one another grow."

Many of these organizations use the Rosenberg Nonviolent Communication method, pictured here, to evangelize feedback.

This method provides a simple and predictable framework that takes some of the volatility out of giving and receiving feedback.

The all-time way to gear up for and receive criticism

So now we know some strategies for offering feedback with an open heart and listen. How about for receiving it?

Ask for feedback oftentimes

The best strategy for being caught off guard by negative feedback? Brand sure you invite feedback oftentimes, especially from those you trust. You'll be ameliorate able to see whatsoever challenges alee of time, and yous'll gain experience in responding positively to feedback.

You can begin past preparing some open-concluded questions for those who know you well and can speak with confidence almost your piece of work. Here are some great example questions:

• If y'all had to make ii suggestions for improving my work, what would they be?
• How could I handle my projects more effectively?
• What could I do to make your task easier?
• How could I do a better task of post-obit through on commitments?
• If you were in my position, what would you do to show people more appreciation?
• When practice I need to involve other people in my decisions?
• How could I practise a better job of prioritizing my activities?

Enquire for time to reverberate on what you've heard, i chemical element at a fourth dimension

When receiving feedback, it might be tempting to get defensive or "explain away" the criticism. Instead, let the other person finish completely and attempt to listen deeply. And then ask questions and reverberate thoughtfully on what you've heard.

Stanford Professor Nass says that most people tin accept in just one critical annotate at a fourth dimension.

"I have stopped people and told them, 'Permit me retrieve about this.' I'm willing to hear more criticism just not all at one fourth dimension."

And so if you need some time to reverberate on multiple points of feedback, don't be afraid to say and so.

Cultivate a growth mindset

While some of us have a hard time hearing negative feedback, there are those who thrive on information technology. This group has what'due south known as a growth mindset. They focus on their ability to change and grow–as opposed to those with a fixed mindset–and are able to come across feedback as an opportunity for improvement.

Y'all can larn more about how to develop a growth mindset here.

Take credit for your mistakes and abound

It'south easy to take credit for our successes, just failure is something we don't like to admit to. For case, we're more than likely to blame failure on external factors than our own shortcomings.

But lately, the idea of embracing failure has emerged, and it'southward a great mindset for making the most of feedback.

"Continual experimentation is the new normal," says business organization psychologist Karissa Thacker. "With risk comes failure. You cannot elevate the level of take chances taking without helping people make sense of failure, and to some extent, experience prophylactic with failure."

Take a folio from the "embracing failure" move and treasure the opportunities yous're given to improve and grow.

How we give and receive feedback

Equally with many of the things we do at Buffer, the mode we requite and receive feedback is a continuous piece of work in progress as we experiment, learn and grow.

Previously, the feedback process was more or less formalized in a procedure nosotros phone call the mastermind. Each team fellow member would meet with a team leader every two weeks in a format with the following structure:

• 10 minutes to share and celebrate your achievements
• xl minutes to talk over your current top challenges
• 10 minutes for the team pb to share feedback
• ten minutes to give feedback to the team atomic number 82

This process had a few actually expert things going for it: Feedback was a regular, scheduled part of our discussions, which removed a lot of the fear that tin surround information technology; and feedback always went both ways, which made it experience like a sharing process between two equals.

These days, masterminds happen weekly betwixt peers and we've moved away from the formalized feedback section altogether every bit we strive for a more holacratic, less top-down way of working together.

But feedback is however an important role of the Buffer journey, and it is offered and received freely past whatsoever of us at any time information technology is applicable.

Since feedback oft can exist sensitive and personal, it tends to be one of the only elements we exempt from our policy of radical transparency. Information technology most often takes the form of one-on-1 Hipchat messages, emails or Sqwiggle conversations.

Our values guide the feedback process

Buffer's 10 cadre values are our guide to offering and receiving feedback with joy instead of anxiety.

Looking at our value of positivity through a lens of feedback, I see lots of smashing instruction on offering constructive criticism, including focusing on the situation instead of the person and offering as much appreciation as feedback.

Since we each take on this goal of positivity, information technology's very easy to assume the best of the person offering their feedback to you and that their intent is positive.

Additionally, our value of gratitude means that nosotros each focus on being thankful for the feedback equally an opportunity to improve in a particular area.

Finally, our value of self-improvement means we take a framework for taking feedback and acting on it in a way that moves u.s.a. forrad.

Although feedback isn't by and large made public to the whole squad, it'southward not uncommon for team members to share feedback they've received and the changes they're making equally a result in pair calls or masterminds.

I'm sure our ideas will evolve even further on this idea (in fact, during the time it took me to write this we opened up a whole new word on feedback and resolving bug). Maybe you can requite us a hand?

I'd dearest to hear your best tips for giving and receiving feedback in the best spirit, or to learn how you handle feedback at your workplace! Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

This article originally appeared in Buffer and is reprinted with permission.

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Source: https://www.fastcompany.com/3039412/the-art-science-to-giving-and-receiving-criticism-at-work

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