How Do You Know if You Are Flat Footed

Rapper B.o.B. has acquired a furore by tweeting that the Globe is in fact flat, and yous only need to look at the evidence to come to the aforementioned determination. Obviously, prominent scientists have openly mocked this claim, showing the many means in which information technology is ludicrous, no matter how many people insist otherwise. They're correct though; sadly. B.o.B. is wrong. His nonsense claims, such as the thought that Globe'southward curvature should be visible at certain distances but isn't, are just that: nonsense. His comments and insistent statements are little more than childish naivety. In truth, the conspiracy goes much, much deeper than that.

For example, the Earth really is flat. As in totally flat, like a sheet of drinking glass. The definition of apartment is "having a level surface; without raised areas or indentations". So how can you have tall buildings and mountains if the Earth is flat? You can't. Q.E.D. It would be like saying a hedgehog is flat, which, barring an unfortunate meet with a heavy goods vehicle, information technology clearly isn't.

Some might take issue with this, based on the flimsy evidence that they can come across buildings, hills, trees, mountains and things like that everywhere, and may even be in or on them right now. This is simply some other instance of how blinkered people are. If you expect closely, the clues are everywhere.

Sherpa film still Mount Everest
There'south no such thing as a mountain, they're only optical illusions acquired past light refracting off all the mind-altering chemicals in the air. Photograph: PR

For case, what's the tallest supposed mountain on Earth? Everest. Except it isn't. The name is a giveaway; it's clearly a morphing of "never rest", considering if you wanted to get to the biggest mount you'd literally never rest, considering it isn't really there. What about all those people who take climbed it, yous say? Well, consider all the people who have died supposedly doing so. How practice yous die climbing something that isn't there? You tin't. They were apparently killed to protect the conspiracy, whereas those who "survived" were willing to play ball.

And if that isn't clear enough, pretty much anybody who attempts to climb Everest takes oxygen with them. Why would yous do that when there'southward oxygen all around us, in the air? Wherever they're going, information technology isn't on World. Yous know where y'all do demand oxygen, though? THE MOON! That's where they're going. And then-called mountaineers are being sent to the moon in order to fake climbing Everest. This is why Nasa had to false the moon landing with astronauts, because it was already full of mountaineers and they couldn't risk exposing that conspiracy. See how it all adds upwards?

Some might nevertheless object, because they're currently sitting in a tall building. They're not though, they only "think" they are. In truth, everyone is breathing in a potent mix of hallucinogens that are constantly in the air around us, and these cause united states of america to perceive buildings and tall things where at that place are none. How did these hallucinogens get in the air? Well, that's what chemtrails are really for.

Threatened species in England  Embargoed to 0001 Friday December 4 Undated handout photo issued by Natural England of a Sand Lizard, one of the 100 of England's most threatened species which are being thrown a lifeline with a £4.6 million grant for conservation work. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Friday December 4, 2015. The Heritage Lottery Fund money will go towards the
Good evening, your majesty. Photograph: Chris Davis/Amphibian and Reptil/PA

Don't worry, these hallucinogenic compounds aren't provided past evil "Big Pharma"; they're really secreted by the shape-shifting lizards that rule society. Why do you think lizards are in accuse in the showtime place? They provide the secretions that continue the population in line, believing in things like the World is round and buildings exist. The few times people have actually tried to make a tall edifice similar the World Trade Centre, it is destroyed by the regime.

Some refer to "faux flags" at times similar this. In truth, all flags are false; they're non-existent tall structures, then are simply figments of our collective imagination.

This leads the states on to other considerations though, like how thick is the Earth? It may be totally apartment, but nobody said it'due south two-dimensional. It must take a thickness, because we can go underground or underwater. Unlike mountains, the oceans are clearly real, because otherwise where did Atlantis get?

The deepest office of the ocean we know nigh is the Mariana trench, a full 7 miles downward. This means the Earth is at to the lowest degree 7 miles thick, and probably a lot more and so, because that's a lot of water on top of information technology and it would demand to be solid plenty to proceed it all in, lest all of the seas leak out of the bottom of the earth. This clearly isn't happening, even if you do ignore the nonsense that is rise sea levels due to global warming. How tin you lot have global warming without a world to warm? Hoisted by your ain petard there, scientists!

Perhaps the world is as thick equally it is wide, and is actually a cube? Scientists scoff at this notion, arguing that gravity would hateful the atmosphere would be much thicker at the eye of the each surface and most barren at the poles. Merely have you noticed how the atmosphere is much more humid at the so-chosen "equator" nonetheless the poles are practically lifeless? Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY Non!

When yous follow this railroad train of logic, information technology becomes clear that the only feasible conclusion is that World is indeed apartment. Flatter than anyone has ever expected.

Either that, or the human brain has a habit of looking for patterns in innocuous or casual occurrences, ascribing groovy significance to whatever connection it can find and trying to make sense of them despite the absence of any concrete evidence. Simply seriously, that's a bit of a far-fetched claim isn't information technology?

Dean Burnett covers the neurological mechanisms leading to conspiracy theories and more in his debut book The Idiot Brain,

He is on Twitter: @garwboy

  • The Idiot Brain past Dean Burnett (Guardian Faber, £12.99). To lodge a copy for £vii.99, go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £10, online orders but. Phone orders min. p&p of £1.99.

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Source: https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/jan/26/earth-totally-flat-conspiracy-bob

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